I made a foolish decision on 27 July...

But I'm happy.

Recently I like this particular singer. He's not an eye-candy, can't express himself well and sometimes, even looks a bit silly and awkward on screen. Strangely, the moment he sings these flaws were easily overlooked. Nevertheless, I didn't start listening his songs until I chanced upon a short article of his background.

Like him simply because his drive, courage, simplicity, innocence touches me. In him, I see the complete opposite of me. We can be equally shy, unconfident and aimless at certain point in our life. We can be similarly uncomfortable and uneasy when focus is on us, hoping to just slip to one quiet corner - I've let these dragged me down while I grumble every now and then, yet he has chosen to silently overcome it. He's young. He's talented. He knows what he can do best and goes all out to pursue his dream. At an age of 15, how many can be as determined and clear about what they want to be doing with their life? He starts learning musical instruments, starts trying out singing in pubs, starts taking part in compeitions. He didn't win then, but queues started forming at the pubs where he sang and suddenly, with only 3 brief appearances on TV, he becomes famous.

"你只管唱...
...我们会让你站在舞台上"

Some said he is lucky. To some extend, he is, to have fans who wrote the above... Who support him from the pub, to now, on the stage.

It's not the most interesting story I've heard before, but I think it's the whole process that's important. The process of trying, learning, improving and becoming a better person. The process of looking back and see how far you've came, how much hard work you've put in to get you where you are now.

At 15, I lacked the courage and confidence to do what I want. At 24, I'm no better than 9 years ago. 有些东西没做, 时机一旦错过就在也不能回去了.

I've done these numerous times but still it left me feeling guilty. And tomorrow morning, I know I will feel even more so. Then, this feeling just continued on and on... because I know I will continue to do this again and again...

Turn me into a stone, please?

Maybe one day I will get so angry and disappointed in myself, then I will shot myself.

I Know I've got quite a 'good girl' look, that's basically what others will say of me.

And then the other day, while having lunch with a friend, casually she mentioned 'good girl' usually can't dress well and don't look pretty but yeah, they are good and easy-going because they are 'GOOD girl'.

There, someone who shares the same thought as me. Would you rather be good girl who don't have a fashion sense, or a sociable party girl who can carry herself well?

I think I'll stick to who I really am.

I was reflecting on my life just now. I really should start taking steps to change the things I'm not happy with. I can't forever be grumbling about this and that and then few years later, still I'm stuck in the same situation which makes me grumbled. It's unhealthy. A person ought to be responsible for the decision he/she made. I think being able to tender my resignation without guilt will be the very first big step for me. Found a job which doesn't make me dread myself to work will be the second.

I admire people will are calm, decisive, confident and sociable. One day, when I'm old, I hope I can look back and see those strengths in myself.

I'm not in my best of mood today. Actually, I haven't been in really good mood ever since Mr hairdresser chopped my thick hair into unbalance layers. I'm usually not so particular about short hair. Well, I'm equally ugly and kiddish in long hair anyway... maybe it's just because my 'big auntie' comes this week...

I shall go buy my favorite food later - waffles...