The last picture we took togather was 2 - 3 yrs ago...

Ya, no kidding, it's that long!

Cookies 1, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Occasionally, I'd love to wake up in the morning with the aroma of freshly baked cookies and muffins.

And then, a dashing boyfriend who is doing the baking will be just great.

It's sunday so a little dreaming doesn't hurt!

Saturday morning, I was listening to this old song and getting quite emotional...

Sometimes no matter how hard you tried to compromise and change, things will still be same. Then you get so tired inside and wish so much to give up... but you just can't let go...

More muffins, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I had to throw away the first batch of batter without even putting it into the oven...

Strange enough, I wasn't even frustrated while baking for the second time. I guess scientists are right, chocolate do lighten people's mood, specially NICE chocolate...

Strawberries n' Chocolate, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

The day didn't start off smoothly, though it was a Fri...

But I'm glad the bad mood lasted for only awhile. By noon, I was enjoying the chat with Angeline. By night, I was laughing out loud at the stupid jokes Yen and me made...

By this morning, I was happily munching the chocolate I bought from Candy Empire yesterday...

Early in the morning 3.20 am I lay awake, tossing and keep remembering what I've overheard them said. For a moment I felt worthless, wishing again that I could earn more, wishing that I could be more successful. I cursed for the umpteen times that the annual increment I had calculated and expected didn't come, that the salary range I have targeted since last year was never met...

The disappointment had left me long ago. It was something else that was eating me...

I kept watch of the time, willing myself to sleep. 3.55 am I took one last glance at the bedside clock and finally I slept... No dreams... just a few drop of tears...

Tears to make myself feel better, to release some frustration. And I'm good now, ready to be positive once again...

Chocolah, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

It's a little doubtful...

This racing car is displayed in the lobby of Royal Plaza On Scotts, right outside 'Carousel' where Pei and myself went for high tea buffet.

Do you believe this car, 1:1 size, was made from real Chocolate?

Fun in theme park

Fun in theme park, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Keeping photo album is good...

Why I sux?

Because I couldn't stop complaining...

Because I couldn't stop comparing...

Because I couldn't stop feeling guilty for bothering others with my own problems...

Because I know what I'm doing and feeling are wrong and yet I couldn't help it...

Because I tried so many times to stop all the above and here I am, still complaining, still comparing, still thinking how I'm such a sickening irritating bitch...

No I'm not angry with anyone. In fact, I would like to thank everyone who are there for me, encouraging me. I really really appreciate it even though at times I might act otherwise (I'm never one to show gradtitude freely). I hate wasting their time and spoilting their mood with my own trivial problems. I'm simply disappointed in myself, angry with myself. I very much wanted to change but I'm always back to sqaure one...

P.S: Jun, I read your blog. If you happened to read my previous post and misunderstood something, then do accept my apology :)

Crunchy Salad, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Starting my exercising program.

Thanks to a friend today...yaya...great thanks to her for telling me only two sentences after my lengthy complain:

"Ok"
"Tender lor"


Thanks hor!

I'm sorry for being sarcastic. Go ahead and curse me for being a whiny irritating self-centered bitch. Just for once, let me stop worrying about offending people... let me be a bad person without feeling any sense of guilt...

Cartoon world, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I have been searching for that perfect world...

I thought every person should have a goal in life, should know what they want, should do what they like. But I guess I'm wrong... sometimes they could be so blinded by what others thought was perfect and overlook little things that could make them happier...

Even better with curry, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I ate dinner in a Malay stall at Arab Street yesterday. The dishes were all ordered by Miss Yun and my only responsibility was to eat and take lots of pictures. There are more images on my flickr photostream...

Nice spicy food. Definitely a stall to visit again.

Recipe notes, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I bought a plain notebook from Prints. Hopefully by July next year, it will be filled with lots of baking tips and notes...

And hopefully by then, my life will be as sunny as the orange cover...

Little pink bun, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Mama went to temple this morning and returned home with these little pink buns. Let me repeat; they are not pink eggs, they are BUNS with lotus seed paste as filling...

I used to love this when I was a little kid, until I came across more choices like Muffins and Cupcakes etc. Nevertheless, I still eat them once in awhile...

Tons of memories...

On a Saturday morning, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Saturday morning usually means "baking-time" for me. I baked Oreo muffins again, but the taste was not there yet. At least, I encouraged myself, that the texture was right. The next time, it will get better...

I hope...

Chocolate muffins, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I spent the last Saturday at home baking muffins. Needless to say, I failed to make a tasty one, but they do look fine, don't they?

Happy super belated birthday to Le Le!!! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Miss Fierce, happy birthday to you~ Clap~

The pretty birthday girl...

... and her three drawfs...

Recently I bought a new canon camera. To make my money worthwhile, I snapped almost every interesting snacks and tibits I could get my hands on, and of course that includes the cakes and biscuits I baked during the weekends... here you go... take a look... :)

Went downstair to have brucnh with family just now and I suddenly felt very down when they started talking about further studies and work. I know not having a direction in my life is not the end of the world, but sometimes I'm just so unsure of myself... so unsure of my future...

PMS or depression? I certainly hope it's not the latter...

I can't stop comparing myself to others. Compare about salary, compare about what others have accomplished... All the comparison kept reminded me of how much time I've wasted these three years and how lousy I still am. Worse, I just seems to ignore how others think of me...

Haiz...

Everytime there's a quarrel it was always my fault. I can't remember when had anyone believe that it was someone else fault other than mine. Everytime when I thought things will be better it would always ended up otherwise...

Why do I try so damn hard to patch things up with them when apparently they still hold a grudge?

Why do I feel so damn guilty after quarreling when they are not affected by it at all?

Why can't I be a bad person and stop bothering what others think!?

WHY AM I THINKING SO DAMN MUCH! I wish I could stop...Sometimes I just feel so miserable... so alone...