MERRY XMAS TO ALL!!!

I think I must be hating my job alot, cause I've been overeating for weeks...and each time after snacking (Sakae sushi, homecooked rice, 2 muffins, tau siar piah, crackers all in a day), I feel lousier instead of better. Spent months jogging to keep healthy, and now I'm destroying those efforts...

My stomach feel like it's going to burst...

Knock me out please!

There, finally uploaded photos from my taiwan trip.
















Wu Jiao Zhuan Pan

Mango flavor Ice cream. Nice...hehe

Snoopyland. Saw me under the umbrella?

Cousin and myself. We are having dinner at one of the restuarant in Kenting. The food sux. Honestly!

Hot chocolate, mango mochi, chocolate cake from their very own cafe, 85 degree C. Abit like our coffeebeans...

Visited the Wen Quan. The one with Jolin in their ads. We didn't get to experience it cause of the tupid big auntie. I thought my phototaking skill was kinda good, managed to capture them jumping with just one try lolx!

Ji Ji train station. Xiaopei mum took this pic, so that would explain why it's abit off....:X

It isn't everyday you can see me so seriously rolling dough!

Shuang shuang guo.

Cold~~~~~ Yang Ming Shan. We were shivering...

To be Continue...

Oh ya, I'm back from Taiwan. Taipei was cooling, temperature between 16 to 24. Trip was fun, except for the shopping part. Though clothes were really cheap, I bought only a bag and a top. I'm not gonna elaborate on it, you guys know why! Toured from Kaosiong, Pingdong, Henting to Tainan, Taizhong and Taipei. We shivered after bathe almost every night lolx!

I actually enjoyed most of the sightseeing, and of course, tasting taiwan snacks!! (Xiao Chi). Our tourguide Ah Bao is a humorous uncle in his late forties. A singapore tourguide named Mark, tall and super muscular with an average look, also went along. I saw him carrying 3 luggages with his two huge arms 0.0 He fell on his butt during the trip, nothing serious, but Ah Bao joked that he felt the ground shook and thought another earthquake was coming. In case anyone wonder whether if there's any youngster in the group, yes! There are 2 guys in their early twenties who partied & clubbed everynite (They asked me to join once) and slept in bus during the day -.-

Here you go, some pictures of the trip...More to come~

There was this event yesterday and all six of us have to be around. The day before, I've been helping to pack notebooks, folders, etc into individual boxes and arranging to have them sent down to cinemas first. I'm responsible for the RSVP of our special invited guests as well. Blasting out e-invite emails, waiting for their RSVP, sending them confirmation reply and consolidating the RSVP list, etc...

My colleague from another department noticed that I was so busy packing for this event, and also for the shifting of our new office, so she offered to lend me her two 16 year-old guy temps for a day. Naturally, I quickly asigned them to help out with the packing of my event stuff and I brief my own temp K to start clearing out our storeroom. I thought I can finally settle down to do my own follow-up work, but the two 16 year-old temps just keep finding me and talking rubbish instead of doing what I asked them to. In the end, I got even busier...

So came yesterday, the official day for our annual trade event. We tried to finish up whatever needed to be done and shared cab to orchard togather. Things went smoothly until my assistant manager realized that there weren't enough folders for all the goodies bags. We are short of 15. What came afterward was a really fierce glance from her. I hailed a cab back to office and rushed back again...

How useless could I get?...And the least I needed was having someone telling me I'm not, it just don't help me to feel any better at all...If you were me, trying so much to not be a blur sotong in vain, how will you feel?

P/S: Thanks yen for hearing my complains and keep responding :-)

Did I mention that I just chopped off my long hair a month ago, to shoulder-length, with lots of layer and the shortest fringe I've ever cut?

Was a little sad at first (Sorry friends for listening to my endless complaints again). But kind of used to it by now, especially after trying out so many different ways of hiding my super-short bangs (Gel, clips, hairbands, headbands, etc). None feel comfortable on my big head except for the thick headbands, which is quite convenient and neat. Recently, I wore it to a relatives gathering. Most of them couldn't recognise me, and then, there were some who thought headbands is ugly, who didn't even hesitate to let me know what's on their mind when I walked pass! Great! Why are there such insensitive relatives on earth who tried and steal whatever self-confidence a person built up?

I complained and I complained and I complained...Non-stop.

My luck just ran out. Glued my mouth. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself...

Thanks ah yun, ah le, ah yen, ah pei for wasting their sms to reply to my never ending whining.

Finally! Finally I could log in to this f**k-up blog...

I felt like crying. For what? I don’t know. Just feel so disappointed, so discouraged, that the only thing I want to do now is to hide under my blanket and cry my heart out. I can’t control my thoughts, can’t stop comparing myself to others. Soon, very soon, my head’s gonna explode. Then maybe I might forget all this shit and be a happy person again…

Sometimes I think I need a psychiatrist…

No, on second thought, I think I need $$ more.

I used to be so happy when friday comes. That means tomorrow is the weekend, that means I can sleep late for two mornings in a row, that means I can enjoy shopping with friends and eat b-lunch with my family...

This was exactly how I was feeling when I just woke up today. I combed my hair, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, still in a good mood... Until I glanced out of window and saw the drizzling. I hate rainy days. It always make me grey, lonely, moody...

Ah gong is back from the hospital. Tomorrow my relatives are coming by to look after him as he will be needing 24hr care. I guessed my brother will be sleeping in the same room with ah gong at night just in case he woke up and dream-walk again. Kinda tiring, but what else can we do? I think my brother is going to stop his job-hunting for awhile too. Hope that ah gong will recover soon...

Have been working in Cathay for almost 2 months now. Still couldn't click quite well with my 'ang mo' colleagues. Mostly, I just kept to myself during office hour and lunch-in alone. There are times when I so much wanted to tender, partly cause I just couldn't feel the sense of belonging there, and also because the lack of communication between me & them was starting to affect my working performance. Thus, I got scolding so often that I couldn't remember the exact number of times. I'm hanging on now, simply because it's the most interesting job I've had so far. But, for some reason, I knew I wouldn't stay for long...

How can a person work 8hrs mon-fri and not have a single 'friend' to chit-chat with everyday?

Just changed my blogskin. Tired. Going to sleep now. Tomorrow most probably will update new entry.

Good Night.

I hate making choice. Boo.

I felt like trying out again for designing (Provided if I could manage to convince the employer that I'm good, which in actual fact, I'm not). But, another two years of design job might affect the chance of me getting a stable administrative job in future.

This sux.

Suitable Job
- Administrative duties
- Little coordinating work
- 5 days work week
- Off work at 6pm or earlier
- Same salary with previous job or above
- Traveling time within two hours back and fro
- Seldom OT


Am I asking for too much? Perhaps. I'm just a boo boo.

How do people get rid of guiltiness? And who do i feel guilty so often? Pardon me my friends, if you happened to be the one whom I vent my frustration on this two months. Once, I read in Jun Jun blog, telling people not to ask about her lesson cause she believed some people simply asked for the sake of it. She was vexed yea? This situation applied to me as well. Don't ask or comment negatively about me being jobless please. I could deal with three to four of such comments, but as time goes on, i realized I've become very sensitive when people touched on this topic. My temper isn't good to start with, I believed I will explode soon. Try standing in my shoes. If you're reading this and thinking 'She's complaining, not again', well, who doesn't complain when they're upset? Those who don't, might probably be having depression now...


Qns 1: Did you go for any interview?


Qns 2: Did you send any resume today?


Qns 3: Still haven't found a job huh?


Qns 4: Still haven't slack enough huh?


Qns 5: You're jobless now and you're still thinking about buying phones and going tour?


Thanks to Miss Pei for telling her mama this when her mama asked about me "You know what people hate most? It's when others asking whether you have been searching for a job or have found a job, out of concern or not. It's okay to ask me, but you better don't ask her this or she will get irritated. If she've found one, trust me, words will spread"


If you're my close buddy, you should know by now that I've already found a job and will be starting work this coming monday. Wish me luck.

I hate it when people misunderstood me. Yea, and I also know that I shouldn't be bother to explain more because I couldn't change the way of how others think. I believed there are also times when I misunderstood people. From the way someone talk, sometimes what was meant to be simply a friendly advice could ended up like shooting him/her down.


Example 1:


Gal A: Boring shopping here. I want to exercise. I want to swim.
Gal B: Shopping is also a form of exercise.
Gal A: I want to lose weight. Shopping doesn't help one lose weight.
Gal B: Hmm, shopping also help to burn calories but not as much.
Gal A: It don't work for me, and, don't work for you as well. Don't lie to yourself.


Notice how the last sentence could easily be misunderstood.


Example 2:


Gal A: There's one new shopping mall around here.
Gal B: Which?
Gal A: It's new. I didn't know it was here until my friends told me. I don't even know it exist, you confirm don't know. Let's have the fries. Looks yummy.
Gal B: It don't tast that yummy to me now.
Gal A: Don't lie to yourself. You like it as much as I do. Eat it if you wanted to.


Okay. This is another one. Don't assume and make the other person feel foolish, though your intention might be totally harmless.

I guessed alot people, including me, still haven't master the art of good communication. Hoho.

I quit. Here I am, jobless again.

歌曲:Another You
歌手:Cascada

So many times I was alone and couldn’t sleep
You’ve left me drowning in the tears of memory
And ever since you’ve gone I’ve found it hard to breathe
‘Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn’t see
A thousand wasted dreams are rollin’ off my eyes
But time’s been healing me and I say goodbye

‘Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure
I’ll find another you

Could you imagine someone else is by my side
I’ve been afraid he couldn’t keep myself from falling
My heart was always searching for a place to hide
Could not wait till dawn to bring another day
You’re not the only one, so hear me when I say
The thoughts of you, they just fade away

Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You’re still a part of my life

‘But I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure
I’ll find another you

A stubborn, confused lady living in her own world. Boooo…

Felt like I should so something to make my life much more meaningful. There are just so much dreams I’m afraid to reach out, so much things I’m afraid to even try…

Was it all because of the lacked confidence?

Dare to fall and laugh at yourself

- Quoted from Miss Joey Msn nick

I think my left toes feel funny. It's alright when I'm walking but it hurts while I jog. Win...damn sian

Suddenly, I understand why people got fed up easily when jobless. Probably because they ownself felt useless, that’s why they couldn’t control their mood and throw temper on others. Life is quite contradicting actually. Me, for an example, don’t know what I really want. How many others once felt like this? Or are still feelings like this?

Speaking of my interview this morning, I didn’t go in. I merely walked pass and skimmed the inside. I’m being a real coward when I saw the number of ang mos working there. I left. Then, heading towards the Mrt Station, I called up the person-in-charge and informed her that I’m not coming. I hate myself for whining every now and then when I didn’t even try to help myself, I hate myself for troubling others with my own personal problems when they are already busy with their owns. Just like the darkening of my mood, the skies turn grey too. What a day. I wondered when I could stop acting like a annoying complain queen and move on. Weird thing is, I know I’m being an irritating idiot but still continue it. Recently, someone nagged that I should stop doing stupid things to avoid scolding from others…

I’m noisy only around friends. I talked non stop and made them tired. But, honestly, is there a need to change my way? I thank everyone for their concern and encouragement toward my job interview. I failed terribly yeah. I didn’t even try. PLEASE STOP RAINING!!!

Yo. Finally Miss Yen passed to me my HK trip photos. hehe...






















Their Espirit and Gucci very big norhz











Our accomodation at Metro Park Hotel (Mongkok, Prince edward) wahaha.











Whaha. The mickey mouse MTR...so cute hor...Then, there's the ugly me taken at Disneyland palace. lolx...At night, this place will glow with lights, musics and fireworks.





























Beautiful lolx.
















Don't laugh at me guys. I admit I'm bo liao lolx!!! We are at The peak. Ming xing la xiang guan.




















Whahaha. I'm short and fat beside Mr Andy.










Twins yo.

Forgot to help them deposit money into bank account. They got fed up because the money was not deposit on time to deduct their fee yesterday. They quarreled and scolded that I couldn’t be depend on. Yeah. I thought so too. I’m just a forgetful and lazy idiot. In a situation like this, I really loathe myself. He yelled and reminded me yet again to deposit later. I continued typing this entry without answering him. I’m that bad. Yeah…

A person emailed me to arrange for an interview session with their western boss. Lousy as I always am, now I'm visualising and planning how it would go even though the interviewing date is on next monday. I think maybe I've got the minor social phobia. My chinese is poor, my english is poorer. The more I fear of going, the higher risk that I'm gonna stumble with my words there. I just couldn't stop being scare of...of? of meeting people? whatever. Knocked me out please. If I lost my memory, maybe I would not feel so useless...

07 January 2007

Breakfast:
- Duck rice
- Iced green tea

Lunch:
- Two slices of white bread with curry gravy
- Pear
- One scope of ice cream

Dinner:
- Don't know

06 January 2007

Breakfast:
- Mum cooked dish

Lunch:
- Long john silver
- Iced lemon tea

Dinner:
- Peach bubble tea
- Fried dumpling