I felt like posting something up here...those very personal thoughts of mine...but just like jun...I'm afraid that people who read this might be offended...

Here just a simple question to my friends...

1. What do you guys think of my character...Am I a weakling?

Before, the impression i gave others was not quite as important to me as now...I have been feeling pretty lousy these few yrs because of how others see me...Honestly, I'm losing that wee bit of optimism I used to have and I don't really know myself anymore...I became so conscious of my too plain appearance and couldn't recall what my strengths are...Jun, you are partly right about the doll...I wanted to be wild...I wanted to be strong, confident, smart, independent, sociable, capable and charming...I dislike to be the person I am now...

'Nonchalant' don't exactly fit me well...I'm guilty whenever someone is hurt by my words...I'm guilty when someone feel ugly because of what i say...And I'm sorry that good friends usually don't receive any praises from me face-to-face (Unless you took a knife to my neck)...That doesn't mean I don't think well of you guys...Really...

Miss Chuin kept nagging me to update my blog (Cause she's too bored) lolx...Erm...Actually there's nothing to post up...hahaha

Yesterday i took a full day mc to slack at home...(Xp smsed me 'I heard that someone's on mc today, Gei gei again huh! What illness do you have? I wonder how come doctor always get bluff by you!!!' lolx!) i wasn't really rotting alright? Hahaha...Such a unkind cousin of mine...that makes her out of my birthday celebration list...BLEHZ...Anyway...I've got flu and bad cough so i wasn't really buying a mc ya? (I lost abit of my sweet voice :X) hahaha

So today when i reached the office, there's a pile of work waiting to be done...And colleagues are asking me "Are you alright? You look seh seh de" Fakers...I knew I'm bad..whahaha...Everytime i returned to work from a day of medical leave they will asked exactly the same question...Buay sian ah! :X ok...I'm bad again...lolx...But then, maybe i do look abit seh seh la...cause B actually helps to take pictures...That's quite a miracle...

Hoho

Went marina square with Miss Chuin...finally got to see her newly permed hairstyle hahaha...Erm...i think it's quite nice and refreshing...But obviously she's not too happy about it...why? lolx!...

Me: Okay la...not bad ma...
Miss Chuin: Not as curl as before...(Gimme a sad face)
Me: I thought that's what you want? Not too curl, like the taiwan model...
Miss Chuin: But waste money lehz...

Dots...lolx...Nevermind, i finally got to taste the waffle from...erm...how do i spell it..galerie? hahahah My english sux...Yum yum...hoho

erm...

I broke my mirror today...the one i used to make sure my hair don't go out of place (though it always do)...I thought it might be a start of bad luck...how? Maybe complain to others might change it...hahaha...Anyway, i kanna cut by it also...not deep...not serious...just bleed quite alot for awhile...I think it should be okay...Miss chuin said i shouldn't believe in that..whahah


-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
i broke a mirror
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
oops
Ú i vethed...nâ i onnad Moo! says:
hor
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
...
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
how
Ú i vethed...nâ i onnad Moo! says:
hm
Ú i vethed...nâ i onnad Moo! says:
.
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
and i cut by it also
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
i think it's bad luck
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
how am i gonna lose tat bad luck
-=justy=-"...Blehz...BLEHZ...I live up in the mountain..." says:
hahahaha
Ú i vethed...nâ i onnad Moo! says:
dance lor

I think Mr kun is very lame..he asked me to dance? Dots...No link...haha

Happy stuff...

It's a friday. Since the anticipated weekend is near...and i've posted up a whole lot of depressing entries previously...I shall update something worth smiling for today...hahaha...lolx!

Things to feel happy for:

1. I earn enough to spend on some stuffs i like (Though I hate my job!!!)

2. I communicate quite well with sliblings and parent (Some families might not...)

3. I own two Levi's Jeans~ (My fav...just seeing it make me happy abit)

4. My mood gets better when i could make someone laugh (I know sometimes i'm lame...lolx)

5. Im not exactly ugly...just no fashion sense and have a weird taste (At least i don't look like a monster ya?)

6. I get cheer up on most weekends (All my family members are kinda funny)

7. I have good cousins and few close buddys to accompany me when free (Though not much...)

8. I have got some friends who are always there to hear me complain...thank you :P (Hope they don't hate me)

9. I found a new hobby...which is to read thriller when I'm bored (Call me a nerd...but time will pass much easier...lolx)

10. I feel good when I smell nice (whahahaha...Dior perfume...having it make me slightly happier too...And lucky there's enough clean water to let me bathe 3 times a day haha)

That's about all...can't think of anymore to add on...if you guys remember things that will make me happy about myself....tell me ya? hahahahaha!

Complain Queen...

Life could be so simple in the past, yet much more happier than now...If only i could be just as easily contented...

Call me petty, unforgiving, immature (Whateva you could come out with)...I remembered all those unkind words people had said about me, as well as those names of people who had treated me like dirt or played me around like I'm a dumb fool...I could forgive alright?...but i couldn't forget so don't ask me not to think about it...

To those insensitive relatives & friends of mine...they certainly got no brain cause they didn't noticed however minor their criticism might be, it could still stung and hurt like hell...especially to those youngster who had felt inferior and depressed enough...blehz...! And I thought adult should be much more perceptive, some of them showed otherwise ya?

Alright...Now..i supposed i got to apologise to those who are offended because my words...I'm straightforward and I blunt without going through my mind sometimes...I'm cold and i don't
concern for people around me...I'm a complain queen and i always complain!!!...I guessed maybe I'm simply a self-centered and dispassionate girl everyone dislike...haha

Nothing much...

I'm not sure why I'm here to create a new posting...I've got nothing to update lolx.

This coming saturing will be my boss birthday and he's hosting a party at his condo's function room. Since I'm not very happy with this company, i shall not be attending. I know most probably those with loads of working experience (E.g. Mother, father, brother) will persuade me to go. After all, it's the birthday of someone who pay for my wages. Yaya...blehz...

Anyway...who knows what's the meaning of "Blehz"??....duh -.-"

Nerd...

Can someone be a nerd, and still looks pretty...?

Definitions of 'Nerd'...
- a person who is extremely interested and knowledgeable about computers, electronics, technology, and gadgets
- an insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or studying excessively
- A foolish, inept, or unattractive person

The three difinitions are kinda contradicting ya?...Anyhow, I guessed 'nerd' doesn't really hold a good impression in most people...

But then to me, Nerd doesn't nescessary means...

1. He/she wears spectacles (Yen...so you're not)

2. He/she wears shirt that button up right to the neck (So miss chuin...you're not)

3. He/she reads (I hope I could say I'm not too...)

4. He/she is too quiet

5. He/she don't drinks or club

6. He/she likes to stay indoor

7. He/she never follows fashion trend

8. He/she don't socialize well

Dream guy...

This entry is written for those who thinks, or once thought, that I'm a les...

Just because i didn't show any physical attraction to the opposite sex, or haven't found my better half, doesn't means I don't like to fall in love with them...In case some of you might want to question, yes, i've been fond of someone before...but never deep enough to consider stepping into a relationship...I got no intention to rush myself, to accept anyone who came along my path (There's none so far)...though sometimes i might feel alittle empty inside...

And...I don't go way out for looks (Yaya...make a stupid face if you felt like it). I wouldn't expect him to be all good-looking and charming while i'm absolutely conscious of my own dull appearances...So don't tell me to lower my standard...that's stupid...Lastly, Miss chuin...i don't go for bad boys...i really don't know why almost everyone assume that...

My dream guy:
1. Has his own character and style
2. Caring and understanding towards me
3. Homorous and witty (Avoid acting like a clown)
4. Mature and calm (loosen up when it's time to relax)
5. Knows how to socialize with people
6. Surprise me on special occasion
7. Gives me freedom when nescessary
8. Be there for me when i needed him to be
9. Don't smells funny, bathe and wears perfume or fragance
10. Not stingy
11. Don't wear jeans/pants/shorts above his waistline (I think Xy knew what I'm refering to)

Preferably own at least one Levi's jeans (I knew some might be rolling their eyes now...lolx I'm kidding alright?)

A naive ger...

What do you call those who knew doing certain things are wrong but still go for it?

There is this 21 yr old girl...she knew working life in full of hypocrites and she understood pushing responsibilities to others at times will make her job much easier...But often, people read her as naive, maybe even gullible as she always did the tasks colleagues passed down...She loathed what others thought of her...She was affected whenever people comment on her being innocent...Everytime she tried to be different, she failed terribly...She couldn't came up with any strengths from her character, only plenty of weaknesses...

For today...she just received another lectures from her incharge...

"You couldn't please everyone out there...there are times when you just have to throw back the responsibilities. You must be dare to ask questions even if you knew people are going to be angry or upset with you...The point is to make your job easier and lesser"

Wo yao kuai le...

Chilling out at a cafe instead of clubbing in the pub isn't boring...

Me ??

About me...

1. I look very much like a china girl.

2. I look innocent and gullible.

3. I'm fat, short and plain

4. I wear boring colours like black, white and grey.

5. Friends called me an 'auntie'

6. Almost all my accessories are black too.

7. My hair's always a mess.

6. I'm a designer with no taste.

Despite all that...I'm still trying to be happy with who i am...Hope i succeed someday...

Blehz!!!!!

I came across this phrase during work today... 'If you are not smart, then you aren't a nerd' quote by Miss Carolyn Chuin...Not very true...Since she's a good friend of mine and had been feeling real down recently, i will just agree with her this time...lolx!

Nothing much happened these days (Colleagues still left one after another...It's pretty common anyway)...According to Miss Chuin, she thought i should pick up something to kill my boredom (Probably so that i wouldn't disturb her every now and then with "Bored" or "Sian" on msn) But i'm plain lazy alright? i don't like to do anything other than lazing around. Ya...I'm a slacker...kinda sad huh? And even though i knew I'm getting more useless with each passing minute (Apparently most of my relatives thought so too)...I am doing nothing to improve it...

I've been asking myself why the hell should i care so much of how others see me as...I'm just me...I'm not earning big bucks but it's enough to feed myself...so tell me which part of me seems like a failure to them...

I'm tired of thinking through things...Don't tell me "then don't think la"...Cause it's not easy alright? I wish i could...

Bored

Demoralized...

The storeman was sacked...reason being "the store only need 1 people...with 2 there will be nothing to do" and that's it. Anyway...it's none of my business, as long as i kept my job. But then, there will be less one person to chat, less one person who clicked with me...so...i am damn demoralised...(WTH...2 had already been terminated after i joined here in less than a year! And both of them worked for only weeks to afew months...Their working attitude aren't bad either...)

It's a suxing company ya? Don't EVER mentioned to me that i've not seen enough of this world...cause i think any company which chose to kick two good staffs out in less than a period of 4 months wouldn't be that great! And any company which didn't replace the staffs who are being sacked or resigned, but simply added the job scope onto another existing staff workload without even abit of pay increment was damn sickening.

Who will the next person out? Me? Probably...

The real unlucky ones are those who stayed behind...

I've got enough of it...blehz!

"Ni ke yi bu yao ze yang dan chun ma? Hen rong yi gei ren bian de" (Direct translate: Can you stop being so innocent?)

I've heard this for countless time all right! So guys...stop mentioning over and over again the things i've already know! It made me feel damn stupid and gullible ya! And seriously...i don't know how others might feel...but i'm kinda upset over this now?

So what if im innocent...innocent is a wrong? innocent is when one doesn't like to chat about anything dirty? or do people just judge someone to be innocent by her/his looks?

E: I think you have to redo the poster. The customer think that it is not exciting enough...

Ok...now...i think i have no potential at all to be a designer too...

Personal Thoughts...Again...

Some of my weaknesses:

I'm noisy, long winded and naggy...

I'm nerdy, timid and stupid...

I've got no fashion sense...

Personal thoughts 2

Orh yea...It's office hour right now. I'm sitting in my little design room and hoping i wouldn't get caught for slacking during my last hour of the day.

I finished my poster ya? (A real lousy one actually) and it again reminded me of how unsuitable I am to be a graphics designer. Nevermind that, my job is to design...until maybe one day the boss find my concept too boring to continue and i'll just quit...

Personal thoughts...

Sometimes a little praise can really makes a difference (Of course, if you overdo it then it will sound very much like a sarcastic remark!)...Anyway, just to say that a simple sincere praise could brightened up people's day and gave someone's the confidence needed to live happier...To the person who allowed me to feel this way recently, thank you...

From my own judgment, the most beautiful ones are those who has the right amount of confidence in whatever they're doing. Not too arrogant and not too timid...Wish someday I will become one...