Crunchy Salad, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Starting my exercising program.

Thanks to a friend today...yaya...great thanks to her for telling me only two sentences after my lengthy complain:

"Ok"
"Tender lor"


Thanks hor!

I'm sorry for being sarcastic. Go ahead and curse me for being a whiny irritating self-centered bitch. Just for once, let me stop worrying about offending people... let me be a bad person without feeling any sense of guilt...

Cartoon world, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I have been searching for that perfect world...

I thought every person should have a goal in life, should know what they want, should do what they like. But I guess I'm wrong... sometimes they could be so blinded by what others thought was perfect and overlook little things that could make them happier...

Even better with curry, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I ate dinner in a Malay stall at Arab Street yesterday. The dishes were all ordered by Miss Yun and my only responsibility was to eat and take lots of pictures. There are more images on my flickr photostream...

Nice spicy food. Definitely a stall to visit again.

Recipe notes, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I bought a plain notebook from Prints. Hopefully by July next year, it will be filled with lots of baking tips and notes...

And hopefully by then, my life will be as sunny as the orange cover...

Little pink bun, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Mama went to temple this morning and returned home with these little pink buns. Let me repeat; they are not pink eggs, they are BUNS with lotus seed paste as filling...

I used to love this when I was a little kid, until I came across more choices like Muffins and Cupcakes etc. Nevertheless, I still eat them once in awhile...

Tons of memories...

On a Saturday morning, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

Saturday morning usually means "baking-time" for me. I baked Oreo muffins again, but the taste was not there yet. At least, I encouraged myself, that the texture was right. The next time, it will get better...

I hope...

Chocolate muffins, originally uploaded by CrazyJusty.

I spent the last Saturday at home baking muffins. Needless to say, I failed to make a tasty one, but they do look fine, don't they?

Happy super belated birthday to Le Le!!! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Miss Fierce, happy birthday to you~ Clap~

The pretty birthday girl...

... and her three drawfs...

Recently I bought a new canon camera. To make my money worthwhile, I snapped almost every interesting snacks and tibits I could get my hands on, and of course that includes the cakes and biscuits I baked during the weekends... here you go... take a look... :)

Went downstair to have brucnh with family just now and I suddenly felt very down when they started talking about further studies and work. I know not having a direction in my life is not the end of the world, but sometimes I'm just so unsure of myself... so unsure of my future...

PMS or depression? I certainly hope it's not the latter...

I can't stop comparing myself to others. Compare about salary, compare about what others have accomplished... All the comparison kept reminded me of how much time I've wasted these three years and how lousy I still am. Worse, I just seems to ignore how others think of me...

Haiz...

Everytime there's a quarrel it was always my fault. I can't remember when had anyone believe that it was someone else fault other than mine. Everytime when I thought things will be better it would always ended up otherwise...

Why do I try so damn hard to patch things up with them when apparently they still hold a grudge?

Why do I feel so damn guilty after quarreling when they are not affected by it at all?

Why can't I be a bad person and stop bothering what others think!?

WHY AM I THINKING SO DAMN MUCH! I wish I could stop...Sometimes I just feel so miserable... so alone...

I don't like people asking about my job...

And I hate people asking about my salary...

Can someone be contented with their job when they are being paid peanuts in comparison to other's of the same age?

Came across this report on google. Totally agreed with what it wrote...

"The first thing people want to do when they get stressed is eat stuff that's bad for them," said Bauer, who counsels Wall Street executives. "But the end result is that they're more stressed out because they're eating something they shouldn't have."

I'm tired. Worked OT for an event today till 9 plus and reached home at 10pm. Events sux, and I don't want to care whether people think my job is fun or not, it's just so stressful to be assigned at the registration table. Apparently, one such friend of mine think there's nothing difficult with handling enquiries from invited VIPs and guest. Does she even understand that there might be complaints and unexpected situation to deal with? Like maybe some unreasonable people might have lost their invitation card but still insist to go in? Worse is when there were several parties/companies involved in the same event, each with their own invited list, and the whole registration area became damn chaotic. Oh ya, and that friend of mine think it's easy to read through and memorise all the event schedules and prodecures when what I touch on during work everyday is something entirely different, not to mention that I'm busy as hell sometimes!

In short, that friend of mine actually made me feel kind of useless and stupid...

Anyway, though I don't think the event is fun, but I do think it's interesting...

Thanks for reading. You guys can go dig your ears now :)

Got tired of asking people out, and was often rejected.

Got tired of finding people on msn, and the only reply I received was a sudden 'offline', 'away' or 'busy' message, as if I'm pestering them.

Got tired of telling jokes, and the atmosphere was still as gloomy.

Got tired of complaining to people, and thinking why am I so whiny.

Got tired of explaining myself, when I know there was no need to...So damn tired...

And that's why I dislike asking people out, I dislike typing repeated "Hihi" to someone who apparently doesn't want to reply me, I dislike being a noisy fellow when someone obviously doesn't appreciate my attempt at jokes, I dislike to be a complain queen whom everyone try to avoid, I dislike trying hard not to be misunderstand but it just make matters worse...

I should add another item to my 'LOATHES' list and that is 'faking MC'. Don't ask me why I still continue doing it even though I really hate the feelings I felt thereafter...

Sometimes, I really wish I can be a bad person and detach myself from the sense of guilt. Maybe, I'm just like a pet who wanted so much to have an approval nod from everyone, anyone whom it path crossed. Yet, I still yearn and choose to do things which I knew will definitely bring about disapproving glance from others. I never learn from my lessons... I'm never contented with what I have... I'm forever dwelling in my own unhappiness, overlooking the vexation I might be causing to family and friends...

How many human beings in this world are as over-sensitive as me...?

Recently, I'm quite surprised that I actually can enjoy shopping alone...

But of course, I still do prefer having the company of friends. It's just that, sometimes when I got so fedup with work, I simply cannot resist getting a tinge bit irritated seeing my shopping kaki stood outside most shops and waited while I obviously am still looking around inside. In that case, honestly, I rather be doing something else which both of us will enjoy, than being conscious of someone else's boredom and quietness. Sometimes, I'd tried to come up with a common topic, only to be shoot down by his/ her short replies...

Perhaps, I'm too sensitive, short tempered, petty. Perhaps, I'm trying to please everyone else and that's why I'm getting more lame...

'Sian'ness can be contagious...

Two questions never to ask the person who date you out, unless he/ she is in a damn good mood:
1. "Why didn't you ask someone else out today?"
2. "Didn't someone else ask you out today?"

If the person already had a date, will he/she still be outside with you now?

MERRY XMAS TO ALL!!!

I think I must be hating my job alot, cause I've been overeating for weeks...and each time after snacking (Sakae sushi, homecooked rice, 2 muffins, tau siar piah, crackers all in a day), I feel lousier instead of better. Spent months jogging to keep healthy, and now I'm destroying those efforts...

My stomach feel like it's going to burst...

Knock me out please!

There, finally uploaded photos from my taiwan trip.
















Wu Jiao Zhuan Pan

Mango flavor Ice cream. Nice...hehe

Snoopyland. Saw me under the umbrella?

Cousin and myself. We are having dinner at one of the restuarant in Kenting. The food sux. Honestly!

Hot chocolate, mango mochi, chocolate cake from their very own cafe, 85 degree C. Abit like our coffeebeans...

Visited the Wen Quan. The one with Jolin in their ads. We didn't get to experience it cause of the tupid big auntie. I thought my phototaking skill was kinda good, managed to capture them jumping with just one try lolx!

Ji Ji train station. Xiaopei mum took this pic, so that would explain why it's abit off....:X

It isn't everyday you can see me so seriously rolling dough!

Shuang shuang guo.

Cold~~~~~ Yang Ming Shan. We were shivering...

To be Continue...

Oh ya, I'm back from Taiwan. Taipei was cooling, temperature between 16 to 24. Trip was fun, except for the shopping part. Though clothes were really cheap, I bought only a bag and a top. I'm not gonna elaborate on it, you guys know why! Toured from Kaosiong, Pingdong, Henting to Tainan, Taizhong and Taipei. We shivered after bathe almost every night lolx!

I actually enjoyed most of the sightseeing, and of course, tasting taiwan snacks!! (Xiao Chi). Our tourguide Ah Bao is a humorous uncle in his late forties. A singapore tourguide named Mark, tall and super muscular with an average look, also went along. I saw him carrying 3 luggages with his two huge arms 0.0 He fell on his butt during the trip, nothing serious, but Ah Bao joked that he felt the ground shook and thought another earthquake was coming. In case anyone wonder whether if there's any youngster in the group, yes! There are 2 guys in their early twenties who partied & clubbed everynite (They asked me to join once) and slept in bus during the day -.-

Here you go, some pictures of the trip...More to come~

There was this event yesterday and all six of us have to be around. The day before, I've been helping to pack notebooks, folders, etc into individual boxes and arranging to have them sent down to cinemas first. I'm responsible for the RSVP of our special invited guests as well. Blasting out e-invite emails, waiting for their RSVP, sending them confirmation reply and consolidating the RSVP list, etc...

My colleague from another department noticed that I was so busy packing for this event, and also for the shifting of our new office, so she offered to lend me her two 16 year-old guy temps for a day. Naturally, I quickly asigned them to help out with the packing of my event stuff and I brief my own temp K to start clearing out our storeroom. I thought I can finally settle down to do my own follow-up work, but the two 16 year-old temps just keep finding me and talking rubbish instead of doing what I asked them to. In the end, I got even busier...

So came yesterday, the official day for our annual trade event. We tried to finish up whatever needed to be done and shared cab to orchard togather. Things went smoothly until my assistant manager realized that there weren't enough folders for all the goodies bags. We are short of 15. What came afterward was a really fierce glance from her. I hailed a cab back to office and rushed back again...

How useless could I get?...And the least I needed was having someone telling me I'm not, it just don't help me to feel any better at all...If you were me, trying so much to not be a blur sotong in vain, how will you feel?

P/S: Thanks yen for hearing my complains and keep responding :-)

Did I mention that I just chopped off my long hair a month ago, to shoulder-length, with lots of layer and the shortest fringe I've ever cut?

Was a little sad at first (Sorry friends for listening to my endless complaints again). But kind of used to it by now, especially after trying out so many different ways of hiding my super-short bangs (Gel, clips, hairbands, headbands, etc). None feel comfortable on my big head except for the thick headbands, which is quite convenient and neat. Recently, I wore it to a relatives gathering. Most of them couldn't recognise me, and then, there were some who thought headbands is ugly, who didn't even hesitate to let me know what's on their mind when I walked pass! Great! Why are there such insensitive relatives on earth who tried and steal whatever self-confidence a person built up?

I complained and I complained and I complained...Non-stop.

My luck just ran out. Glued my mouth. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself...

Thanks ah yun, ah le, ah yen, ah pei for wasting their sms to reply to my never ending whining.

Finally! Finally I could log in to this f**k-up blog...

I felt like crying. For what? I don’t know. Just feel so disappointed, so discouraged, that the only thing I want to do now is to hide under my blanket and cry my heart out. I can’t control my thoughts, can’t stop comparing myself to others. Soon, very soon, my head’s gonna explode. Then maybe I might forget all this shit and be a happy person again…

Sometimes I think I need a psychiatrist…

No, on second thought, I think I need $$ more.

I used to be so happy when friday comes. That means tomorrow is the weekend, that means I can sleep late for two mornings in a row, that means I can enjoy shopping with friends and eat b-lunch with my family...

This was exactly how I was feeling when I just woke up today. I combed my hair, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, still in a good mood... Until I glanced out of window and saw the drizzling. I hate rainy days. It always make me grey, lonely, moody...

Ah gong is back from the hospital. Tomorrow my relatives are coming by to look after him as he will be needing 24hr care. I guessed my brother will be sleeping in the same room with ah gong at night just in case he woke up and dream-walk again. Kinda tiring, but what else can we do? I think my brother is going to stop his job-hunting for awhile too. Hope that ah gong will recover soon...

Have been working in Cathay for almost 2 months now. Still couldn't click quite well with my 'ang mo' colleagues. Mostly, I just kept to myself during office hour and lunch-in alone. There are times when I so much wanted to tender, partly cause I just couldn't feel the sense of belonging there, and also because the lack of communication between me & them was starting to affect my working performance. Thus, I got scolding so often that I couldn't remember the exact number of times. I'm hanging on now, simply because it's the most interesting job I've had so far. But, for some reason, I knew I wouldn't stay for long...

How can a person work 8hrs mon-fri and not have a single 'friend' to chit-chat with everyday?

Just changed my blogskin. Tired. Going to sleep now. Tomorrow most probably will update new entry.

Good Night.

I hate making choice. Boo.

I felt like trying out again for designing (Provided if I could manage to convince the employer that I'm good, which in actual fact, I'm not). But, another two years of design job might affect the chance of me getting a stable administrative job in future.

This sux.

Suitable Job
- Administrative duties
- Little coordinating work
- 5 days work week
- Off work at 6pm or earlier
- Same salary with previous job or above
- Traveling time within two hours back and fro
- Seldom OT


Am I asking for too much? Perhaps. I'm just a boo boo.

How do people get rid of guiltiness? And who do i feel guilty so often? Pardon me my friends, if you happened to be the one whom I vent my frustration on this two months. Once, I read in Jun Jun blog, telling people not to ask about her lesson cause she believed some people simply asked for the sake of it. She was vexed yea? This situation applied to me as well. Don't ask or comment negatively about me being jobless please. I could deal with three to four of such comments, but as time goes on, i realized I've become very sensitive when people touched on this topic. My temper isn't good to start with, I believed I will explode soon. Try standing in my shoes. If you're reading this and thinking 'She's complaining, not again', well, who doesn't complain when they're upset? Those who don't, might probably be having depression now...


Qns 1: Did you go for any interview?


Qns 2: Did you send any resume today?


Qns 3: Still haven't found a job huh?


Qns 4: Still haven't slack enough huh?


Qns 5: You're jobless now and you're still thinking about buying phones and going tour?


Thanks to Miss Pei for telling her mama this when her mama asked about me "You know what people hate most? It's when others asking whether you have been searching for a job or have found a job, out of concern or not. It's okay to ask me, but you better don't ask her this or she will get irritated. If she've found one, trust me, words will spread"


If you're my close buddy, you should know by now that I've already found a job and will be starting work this coming monday. Wish me luck.

I hate it when people misunderstood me. Yea, and I also know that I shouldn't be bother to explain more because I couldn't change the way of how others think. I believed there are also times when I misunderstood people. From the way someone talk, sometimes what was meant to be simply a friendly advice could ended up like shooting him/her down.


Example 1:


Gal A: Boring shopping here. I want to exercise. I want to swim.
Gal B: Shopping is also a form of exercise.
Gal A: I want to lose weight. Shopping doesn't help one lose weight.
Gal B: Hmm, shopping also help to burn calories but not as much.
Gal A: It don't work for me, and, don't work for you as well. Don't lie to yourself.


Notice how the last sentence could easily be misunderstood.


Example 2:


Gal A: There's one new shopping mall around here.
Gal B: Which?
Gal A: It's new. I didn't know it was here until my friends told me. I don't even know it exist, you confirm don't know. Let's have the fries. Looks yummy.
Gal B: It don't tast that yummy to me now.
Gal A: Don't lie to yourself. You like it as much as I do. Eat it if you wanted to.


Okay. This is another one. Don't assume and make the other person feel foolish, though your intention might be totally harmless.

I guessed alot people, including me, still haven't master the art of good communication. Hoho.

I quit. Here I am, jobless again.

歌曲:Another You
歌手:Cascada

So many times I was alone and couldn’t sleep
You’ve left me drowning in the tears of memory
And ever since you’ve gone I’ve found it hard to breathe
‘Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn’t see
A thousand wasted dreams are rollin’ off my eyes
But time’s been healing me and I say goodbye

‘Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure
I’ll find another you

Could you imagine someone else is by my side
I’ve been afraid he couldn’t keep myself from falling
My heart was always searching for a place to hide
Could not wait till dawn to bring another day
You’re not the only one, so hear me when I say
The thoughts of you, they just fade away

Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You’re still a part of my life

‘But I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure
I’ll find another you

A stubborn, confused lady living in her own world. Boooo…

Felt like I should so something to make my life much more meaningful. There are just so much dreams I’m afraid to reach out, so much things I’m afraid to even try…

Was it all because of the lacked confidence?

Dare to fall and laugh at yourself

- Quoted from Miss Joey Msn nick

I think my left toes feel funny. It's alright when I'm walking but it hurts while I jog. Win...damn sian

Suddenly, I understand why people got fed up easily when jobless. Probably because they ownself felt useless, that’s why they couldn’t control their mood and throw temper on others. Life is quite contradicting actually. Me, for an example, don’t know what I really want. How many others once felt like this? Or are still feelings like this?

Speaking of my interview this morning, I didn’t go in. I merely walked pass and skimmed the inside. I’m being a real coward when I saw the number of ang mos working there. I left. Then, heading towards the Mrt Station, I called up the person-in-charge and informed her that I’m not coming. I hate myself for whining every now and then when I didn’t even try to help myself, I hate myself for troubling others with my own personal problems when they are already busy with their owns. Just like the darkening of my mood, the skies turn grey too. What a day. I wondered when I could stop acting like a annoying complain queen and move on. Weird thing is, I know I’m being an irritating idiot but still continue it. Recently, someone nagged that I should stop doing stupid things to avoid scolding from others…

I’m noisy only around friends. I talked non stop and made them tired. But, honestly, is there a need to change my way? I thank everyone for their concern and encouragement toward my job interview. I failed terribly yeah. I didn’t even try. PLEASE STOP RAINING!!!

Yo. Finally Miss Yen passed to me my HK trip photos. hehe...






















Their Espirit and Gucci very big norhz











Our accomodation at Metro Park Hotel (Mongkok, Prince edward) wahaha.











Whaha. The mickey mouse MTR...so cute hor...Then, there's the ugly me taken at Disneyland palace. lolx...At night, this place will glow with lights, musics and fireworks.





























Beautiful lolx.
















Don't laugh at me guys. I admit I'm bo liao lolx!!! We are at The peak. Ming xing la xiang guan.




















Whahaha. I'm short and fat beside Mr Andy.










Twins yo.

Forgot to help them deposit money into bank account. They got fed up because the money was not deposit on time to deduct their fee yesterday. They quarreled and scolded that I couldn’t be depend on. Yeah. I thought so too. I’m just a forgetful and lazy idiot. In a situation like this, I really loathe myself. He yelled and reminded me yet again to deposit later. I continued typing this entry without answering him. I’m that bad. Yeah…

A person emailed me to arrange for an interview session with their western boss. Lousy as I always am, now I'm visualising and planning how it would go even though the interviewing date is on next monday. I think maybe I've got the minor social phobia. My chinese is poor, my english is poorer. The more I fear of going, the higher risk that I'm gonna stumble with my words there. I just couldn't stop being scare of...of? of meeting people? whatever. Knocked me out please. If I lost my memory, maybe I would not feel so useless...

07 January 2007

Breakfast:
- Duck rice
- Iced green tea

Lunch:
- Two slices of white bread with curry gravy
- Pear
- One scope of ice cream

Dinner:
- Don't know

06 January 2007

Breakfast:
- Mum cooked dish

Lunch:
- Long john silver
- Iced lemon tea

Dinner:
- Peach bubble tea
- Fried dumpling

Mum nagged that i had on a "too-too" mouth. Why? Was it because I'm not laughing that's why she thought I'm difficult and proud? I'm beginning to worry that as my face get rounder, the so called "too-too" mouth will be more obvious at times. Even my parents and brothers don't like me, then who else will be? This is so depressing ya? Enough thinking. Let me bang my mouth against the wall...Let me bang till it becomes flatter...Then I shall continue banging my whole body against the wall to become thinner since reducing calories intake and exercising doesn't help...

05 January 2007

Breakfast:
- Duck rice
- Iced green tea

Lunch:
- Two bananas
- Two small pieces of chocolate

Dinner:
- Strawberry desert
- Popcorn

03 January 2007:

Breakfast
- Half piece of ba gua
- Two small cubes of chocolate

Lunch
- Fried vegetarian bee hoon
- Iced green tea

Dinner
- Salad bar at Sizzler
- Iced water

04 January 2007:

Breakfast
- Half piece of ba gua
- Water melon

Lunch
- Tom yam mee hoon kuay
- Ice lemon tea

Dinner
- Soya bean curd
- Roasted chicken sandwiches

My 21st birthday is over. So fast. haha. Thanks Cousin for her Levi voucher and Dim sum treat on sunday. The earliest birthday present and wishes I've received this year. I haven't thought of what to buy with the voucher yet. I shall keep it until I thin down whahaa. Dreaming lolx. I should slap myself awake. Also, thanks her for staying up late on wednesday night and be the first to sms me...

My pretty pretty buddy Miss Chuin chuin dropped by on thursday morning with a strawberry short cake and christmas present whahaha. Actually she intended to give me a surprise but my big mouth Mum already told me on tuesday that she would be coming lolx. Ya, had no trouble remembering it cause Mum kept repeating till I had it memorized in my head "You're lucky to have this kind of friend. The rain poured heavily and still she came twice to my stall" The next sentence always made me laugh "Don't tell her I tell you she's coming because she tell me not to tell you she's coming" hahaha. Funny. Really touched norhz. After cutting the cake we sat around to chit chat. I think she somehow fell for my po-po soft toy (Kapo and Hippo) because her skeleton fingers just couldn't stop touching them. It's KAPO Miss Chuin, not kappo. haha! Thanks for what you've done whaha. Muackssssssssssssssssssssssssss. The cake was nice, and so was the belt okay? hehe...Strawberries are as sweet as me...











Pretty Miss Chuin and Ugly Miss Zhen hehe...at my home. I just woke up wor.



Yen went shopping with me on wednesday evening and dine at Sakae Sushi. We watched 'night at the musenum'. Very entertaining movie! hahaha. Before entering the cinemas, she brought me a christmas log cake in replace for birthday cake lolx. Thanks my cutie buddy k! lolx (Don't bang your head into the ceiling, you will have a hard time pulling it out) whahaha. I hoped she will like the christmas present norhz...

Pretty Cloud Miss Yun brought de mango cake from four leaves tasted super nice lolx! yum yum. There is a layer of mango pudding on top. Thanks for her accompany on thursday k! hehe. Oh ya, she did a Mr Jack birthday card for me. Very cute. Lucky Mr Jack'S wife is not inside or else me gonna burn it whahahaha! Kidding. Also, she 'stole' her Mum threads to tie up the chocolates. So coincidently the threads were in black and white colours whahaha. 'Eragon' was not bad, but the storyline progress kinda quickly...

On thursday night my ex company colleagues called my mobile to wish me happy birthday. haha happy. Thanks to you guys and those who sms me. I forgot if I replied or not to the smses. hahaha I so bad. Muack Muack~

Thanks mama. Muack~ Gonna treasure and wear that necklace~

Went vivocity with Pei, her sister and her friend. She said she wanna treat me eat dim sum last week for my early birthday treat. Woke up at 9.10am and meet her at the bus stop near our house. Then she suddenly gave me levi voucher as birthday present ahhhh. My fav hehehe! I opened and saw $50 inside. Then after eating and shopping I realized actually there was another $50 behind the first piece. I don't know what else to say except looking at her with big big eyes! lolx Really very surprised wor! Thanks so much!!! I didn't expect her to buy for me present since she is treating for dim sum! I'm sorry that I didn't buy for her anything during her birthday except paying for her photographs. Gonna be so guilty. Xie xie ni~~~~~~

P brought a silver hair clip and angie the choice mango cake (They kept saying the cartoon face looked alot like me). She also share present togather with another four colleagues to buy a huge hippo soft toy for me. Did they realize that actually the price tag are still attached to it? It was in Euro 64.95 (which is around $118) and there were only five people sharing. I'm a cheapo so I thought this was so expensive. Very pai seh to accept but I like it. Yaya. I'm childish. It was so soft to HUG! lolx. Then, they treat me eat Pizza Hut. It's was a pretty touching farewell party. hehe. No matter how much I always complained about this company, I still would like to thank all for them for giving me two happy advance birthday celebration (One is last year). New admin gave me a cute xmas decor. They sang happy birthday song for me (In english, chinese and cantonese) and my 'flip newspaper' boss came in to took my photo using his mobile. So cute ar him hahaha. We spent two and a half hour for lunch. Zhen de hen xie xie ta men. P held my palm and said "wo zhen de she bu de ni. Ni bu ke yi wang ji wo k. Will you miss me anot? I know you won't la. You heartless girl! Call me ar!". New admin slap my leg and said the same thing. Just before I went home, they each gave me a hug, wished me good luck, and then for a second I felt like crying (I didn't la). lolx. I'm not a crybaby k! But then I also don't know why I felt quite touched lo. haha. I didn't know they will be celebrating for me until this morning, didn't know even boss would come in and sing birthday song. Thanks them for still treating me well on my last day, making it quite a memorable one. hoho.











Colleagues from another company Pei Juan, Yvonne and Canie












Colleagues of mine hehehe. Chuah, WWjie, Isreen, Bernice, P

Haha. Guess what? It's my last day of work. lolx. I knew I would be very sad after becoming jobless, but now I'm so relieve to leave here! lolx. I'm a bad lazy girl. I brought the handphone pouch for my colleagues early this morning. One for the new admin as well. Hope they would like it norhz. Surprised surprised, new admin gave me a early xmas present also. So touched. I haven't unwrap it, bu she de unwrap it lolx. Then, I passed the cake towel to P. She thought it's real and she asked me not to go for lunch later as she already brought a cake for me. It is for celebrating my birthday in advance. ahhh. Thanks so much. Really appreciated their "xin yi" lolx!

Thanks so much to Miss Chuin also. So touched yo. She asked if my birthday and the day before anyone ask me out, in case I'm alone. Xie xie ni miss chuin~ haha~ Don't muack you later you think I les. I go muack my mama whahahaha

We were having lunch. WWjie pointed to the new girl, saying how good it is to be born thin and tall. Those ladies could wear whatever they like and still looking nice. The new admin then said she is not thin actually. I ate my mee quietly, feeling kinda awkward. I was praying they don't comment anything on my weight. But, sianly, WWjie said something again...

WWjie: She is not thin. I looked at her liao. Actually she got alot of meat on her hip.

Okay. Win. Gave her the suaning award and don't talk to me! As if I don't know I'm fat she found a need to keep reminding me. I eat lesser and I went jogging but none seems to help ma. It's not that I don't know I'm gaining weight and did nothing ma. boo boo. People who have never been shoot these hurting words don;t know how it felt like. Really very demoralize lo

People told me I'm not vain. Then, i start to wonder what does vain means? This is what i found from the net...

Vain - It means caring only about yourself, your looks and thinking everything is about you...

E.G. - you are standing in a group, someone comes up and says "oh you are so beautiful" - he means the girl next to you, but you assume that it must be about you, and your chest puffs up...coz you're vain.

E.G. - there is a dinner and a lot of ppl are going, wearing nice but normal clothes, you cannot bear to just be ordinary, you spend hours and hours getting dressed, so you will be noticeable and ppl will admire you...coz you're vain.

Vain ppl keep looking in the mirror and admiring themselves and keep raving about their own accomplishments and think they are the best thing in the whole world.The difference between a self-confident person and a vain person is that the vain person irritates everyone and gets on their nerves, but a self-confident person only inspires and ppl enjoy their company...

Why didn't she listen to what I said? Told her not to buy that since I wouldn't wear it yet she went ahead. I felt like screaming! ahhhh! It's so expensive and it's not even what I like. I felt like nagging at her but couldn't bring myself to do it. I feel so bad! She complained about having not enough money, then why couldn't she save up and don't buy me anything. Honestly, all I want from her this year is just a birthday cake (She gave me none except when I'm in primary three or four) and a small hongbao. I feel so much like crying now. Help? Tell me how can I stop feeling so bad for the money she spent?

E could be quite funny sometimes, though he is always pressing me for the posters. He asked me if I've done his work and I shook my head. Then, he closed my door and said "Like that I'd have to lock you up liao". diaoz right. I noticed that there are still many others who like to crack lame jokes, not only me and my group of friends.

Not here not there not anywhere. Where am I? I felt fat and ugly. I felt stress. I think before long I will have depression...

Insensitive words by guys:
1. You fat fat liao.
2. You're eating these? Eating cakes and sweet stuff makes you fat.
3. Try wearing this massage shoes la, then you can slim down.
4. You think every girls like you so stupid and timid?
5. You study designs mehz? You don't look like lehz.
6. Change your dressing style lahz. So boring.
7. You should do something to your hair.
8. Why you always wear till like that?
9. You don't like to wear fashion stuff?

I went jogging with Miss Chuin. Boo Boo. Saded. I'm so lousy. I shall train more and run further.

Miss Chuin asked me to do out a Christmas Wishlist so others would know what to buy for me.

1. A white Belt I saw at Cineleisure push cart.
2. A small small bag from Myphosis.
3. Acessories from Topshop. (Other stores also can)

That's all I could think of right now. Lolx. I think these items are within the budget yo.

I hate L from Death Note. Why? Because he could eat plenty of sweety junk food without getting fat.

I wore a jeans I brought two years ago. In office, I sat down and my fats became so obvious. I'm dead. I must have been consuming a lorry of oily junk food...

My 21st birthday wish list:
1. Lose 10kg weight, remove mole, be pretty and stylish. (I'm Dreaming)
2. Gain confidence and be bold.
3. Found better job, earn more and lesser quarrels with family.
4. All families and friends of mine stay happy and healthy.
5. Alot but I forgot.

My jobless To-Do list:
1. Spend a jolly 21st birthday.
2. Clear my dressing drawers, my cupboard, my shelves etc.
3. Apply for Debit card.
3. Probably have a hair cut.
4. Change a new mobile phone.
5. Do things which I didn't have time to do during work.

I looked into the mirror and saw a pig staring back. So, I went to take my skipping rope. Not more than 2 minutes, my brother returned home. That's it. I couldn't skip. I shall go bang wall.

I watched the Tv about 'New York Skin Solutions', 'London Weight Management' and 'Yun Nam Haircare' just now. Then, it reminded me yet again of removing my moles. So, today being a super boring sunday, I went surfing through net to find the meanings of moles...Kinda interesting yo...here it goes...


MOLES ON THE BODY
1. Throat - An artistic temperament, successful.
2. Chest - Lazy, unsteady, quarrelsome, financially unsound.
3. Breast (right) - Indolent, intemperate.
4. Breast (left)-Active, energetic.
5. Nipple - Fickle and unfaithful.
6. Ribs (right) - Insensitive, cowardly.
7. Ribs (left) - Lazy, humorous.
8. Hips - Resourceful, valiant and over-amorous.
9. Leg (right) - Energetic and preserving.
10. Leg (left) - Lazy.
11. Ankle - A sharing nature, a sense of humor.
12. Heel - Mentally and physically active. Should beware of making enemies.
13. Foot (right) - Loves traveling.
14. Foot (left) - Thoughtful and gloomy; prefers a sedentary life.
15. Neck - Many ups and downs. Should be frugal.
16. Shoulder blades - Unhappiness.
17. Shoulder (left) - Easily satisfied.
18. Shoulder (right) - Prudent discreet, faithful and restless.
19. Wrist or hand (right) - Frugal, successful in business.
20. Wrist or hand (left) - Ingenious, artistic.
21. Finger - Dishonest, prone to exaggerate, unable to face reality.
22. Back - Frank with an inquiring mind. Should be cautious.
23. Buttocks - Total lack of ambition.


MOLES ON THE FACE
1. Mole on the left temple indicates a tendency to be spendthrift and horsetrong. The person should try to live a quiet life.
2. Mole on the right temple indicates exceptional ability. The person should guard against illness in later life.
3. Mole on or near the eyebrows belongs to preserving person who is happy in marriage. This person bewares of lightening and food poisoning.
4. Mole on or near the corner of the eye. An honest and forthright person who needs to be loved. 5. Mole on inside and outside of the ear. The person has wealth and fame but tends to be reckless.
6. Mole on the left cheek. A serious, studious and struggling person.
7. Moles on the right cheek promise a successful life after marriage.
8. Mole on the upper side of the nose denotes lust and extravagance.
9. Moles on the left side of the nose (middle) indicate a changeable nature. An untrustworthy but lucky person who should be bewares of falls.
10. Moles on the right side of the nose (middle) shows a great traveling urge, an outdoor occupation involve plenty of movement.
11. Mole on the lips signifies greed but benevolence.
12. Mole on the lower lips shows a quiet and studious nature. Good fortune is indicated in later life.
13. Moles on the chin show conscientious, common sense and artistic ability. These people make the best of any opportunities and improve a lot with age.


Lolx. Apparently my mole on left cheek and right side of nose are both bad!!!!1 lolx..i shall have it remove if possible..blehz

Everyone seems to be so busy doing work. Except me! I'm bored! Okay. I couldn't force people to entertain me online just because I'm bored to tears. So, I'm gotta entertain myself. Actually I've some designing to do, but am too lazy to start. I'm a lazy bum. lalala. My last day is on the 15th of Dec!!! yeah~ Then, I can happily enjoy my birthday and christmas before finding a new job. Crazy of me to think this way. Mama always told me there are plenty of people out there who are jobless and I don't know how fortunate I am. ya ya. Change the phrase please. Tell me something more creative. Boo. I'm a shitty gal hahaha.

Wei! friends!!! My birthday coming soon hor! Remember hor! No presents at least send a message! booo! Don't be so heartless. I will hang pig head on your door step, then those who forgot me shall remember me forever. hoho. I'm gonna update my timetable here as well, in case I'm the one who forgot who meet me...whahaha

9th - GY

20th - GY (Xmas budget $20)

21th - Yun

22th - Poly friends (Xmas budget $10)

23th - Miss Chuin and SZ (Xmas budget $15)

If anyone of you want to pang seh me, must let me know earlier wor!!!! Byebye the sailor man~